Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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