Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
