im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
