This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
