yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
