actually, I'm a sock model
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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