Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
