What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
