yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
