32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
