so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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