Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
