How'd it feel making her break her religion?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
