I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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