I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
