yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
