I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
