Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dignity is for republicans.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
