I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
