Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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