do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love you. Go after that dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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