Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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