Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
