Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
