do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
