First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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