I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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