so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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