You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
