There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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