I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
