i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
