It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just high enough for therapy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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