So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
