We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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