i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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