She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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