We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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