My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
