If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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