can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
