i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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