Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
