I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
