remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
