you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
