I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
