So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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