Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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