So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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