dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize