Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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