walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
