i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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