Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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