my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
please come you make the beer taste better
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
