Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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