Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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