Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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