just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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