in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
