I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
