what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
