she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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