thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
