ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
